When there are no words

The world is full of words but sometimes they just aren’t enough.????????????????????????????????????

Some feelings are so powerful they are beyond explanation. Such as when you find yourself overcome with the wonderful emotions of delight or gratitude or the harsh emotions of anger or remorse. Either you say ‘no words’ or you are actually speechless.

Thankfully, I have never known the kind of betrayal that has left me in this position but I know others who have. The shock and inability to comprehend is what has left them without words.

How can your life partner and the person you have shared a family with just walk out or replace you with a younger model? I know too many people this has happened to.

I may say a lot of words to comfort them but very few are of real use. But I grieve with them.

How hard it must be to see someone you thought you would grow old with turn into the kind of callous stranger who can walk out the door. There are no words.

For me, my ‘no words’ have normally been for happier reasons – and perhaps despite my idiosyncrasies.

I am somebody who prefers to give rather than to take, and I find it hard to ask people to do things for me.

That might sound noble but it isn’t really. Over the years I’ve come to realise that it is actually a result of my pride and independence. I don’t want to be beholden to anyone except my closest family, and even that is hard.

If someone does something for me, I try to even the stakes or do something better for them. It’s not the purest motivation!

I no longer think that is a particularly healthy way to behave and have been trying to teach myself to just be thankful when someone does something for me.

I still cringe when I remember how badly I once failed at this. We had been going through a difficult financial time and my elderly grandmother – a wonderful country lady with a great voice for ‘calling in the cows’ – had sent me $50 to help. At the time I worried that this was too costly for her, whereas $50 would get eaten up so quickly in my life. And so I thanked her but sent the money back. Later I learnt how hurt she had been, and I have always regretted what I did.

To accept help or love offered with thankfulness is itself a form of grace and love.

But I am learning the beauty of receiving. On some rare and special occasions in my life, someone has done something for me or helped me in some way that has completely overwhelmed me. It means so much that I know that I could never repay them and so for once I don’t even think to try.

I am speechless with gratitude and I have ‘no words’ except ‘thank you’.

These are times that I treasure. Although I hear so many things that make me despair of human nature, this kind of selfless love gives a better word to focus on – ‘hope’.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s